yep, it's true.

waking up at the crack of dawn to sit on a bench for two hours to swear left and right upon things i don't believe in got old like...three years ago. when i stopped believing in god. i feel bad for people that have nothing better to do with their time then buy all of that catholic crap. anyways, i'm perfectly comfortable with being atheist...but my family is completely ridiculous about religion, so my holidays are always pretty miserable.

it snowed alot today. at least a foot. i woke up to find out we had a snow day and i was excited until i realized i had no one to spend it with.

but don't worry, i didn't spend it alone.

i made some cookies and fought viciously with my mother over every single ingredient, the amount, whether or not they should be heated before being mixed, the color of the baking sheet, etc., etc. it was very stressful. i let all the cookies burn.

anyways, later i went sledding (or walked to a hill that i intended to sled on only to find that other kids had already gotten there and torn the snow up to the grass) and bumped into the love of my life that so happens to be with one of my friends even though he doesn't actually like her but i haven't told her and i'm not going to because i told her not to go for him and she should have listened to me. he walked toward me like he had something to say but changed his mind. good. i don't want him back anyways. he's stupid, indecisive and if he isn't ready for committment than he can just stay away.

my dad has come home for two weeks to find thing's aren't quite the same as when he left. granted, he hasn't been home for more than a day in over two years. that job must be something. i know it's important, but he ought to call. he really ought to. anyways, he decided i was sick just because of a few silly headaches and insomnia, so he took me to the doctor and the doctor saiddddd...

i'm depressed!

no fucking way. thanks, sherlock. really?

dad wasn't surprised. neither was i.

so. yesterday i found out that my friend was mad at me. it kinda came out of no where. anyways, i left her alone all day and then i texted her and asked her why she was mad and she said that i was a bitch, rude, mean and annoying. i guess i could understand annoying since i am a bit..hyper. but i really don't think i'm that rude! and i suppose i'm a bitch sometimes, but mean..idk. i don't agree with that.

today she explained to me more fully. she said that i'm mean more than half of the time but it's not intentional; i'm just a mean person.

no one has ever told me that before, but maybe no one ever had the guts to. i'm glad she told me though. sort of. i mean, if it's what she really thinks then i want to know. i honestly don't think that i'm mean. i'm not sure how to tell. if i was really mean, wouldn't someone have told me already? what the hell does mean..mean!?

mean ²  (mn)